Tag: Thought

When will the Earths Lights go out…#15

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ Leave a comment

In the world that we know we cannot see, yet it is floating, suspended in the dark hole of life. The earth turns floating, and she is tired by the changing of time, seasons, inhabited by those who bring wraith to her. As humans we look for things that will turn out in a magnificent way, we dwell on how things will unfold. Yet, as humans, we keep interfering with her growth, her peace, her beauty. She weeps, the tears fall, trickling, sprawling into the depths of hopelessness.

We, as humans stand still doing nothing to save her, if we have made the wrong choices it is the children who must pay, so why do we care? There is no gain for the earth of today, caring is left in the past, the yesterdays of our own childhood. We show no wisdom, and the great “Sayers” who say nothing, sit and let her be destroyed. A few fight for Earth, but they are too small in numbers.

There is no help from those who can the President and other lawmakers who could make a difference, they do not care. They will not admit that there is such a thing as Global Warming. I have been here for many decades and have witnessed Earth’s decline. There is no victory, we will not leave her as we found her, slow dank waters will form swamps as the rivers dry up, in the woods the cedars’ will soon be like winter bones. EARTH, she will stand for many eternities, but then she will die and her light will go out.

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: We cannot think about the “seasons” without bringing Mother Earth into the fold. She has served us well, beware she made not be here forever, be good to her.

 
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Earthly Cycles – #6

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Earthly Cycles – #6

January was cold and depressing; it’s February, and until the sweet girls birthday is here; we do not celebrate it as we use to, as young girls they make more adult like plans, for me I just sit and remember those cherub face and hands.

February is drenched with the beginnings of winter thaw; two more sweet children celebrate while shivering in the cold. March rushes in with the winds drying the earth; getting ready for springs daffodils’, another sweet birthday comes and goes, like the sweet girl I use to cuddle and hold.

In April, the birds begin to sing bringing to life the flowers of May, sunny June comes another birthday, with it comes the longest day of the year that brings the winter lovers to tears. July is yet another birthday along with the scorched days of summer’s heat. In August the earth gives its children acres of corn, September comes the fruit the trees and vines have born.

October earth removes her summer cloaks as stars shoot across a November sky; the nights become long, cold with early frost. The strong December winds begin and soon comes, January the seasons have gone through their Earthly cycle with cold and snow all over again.

 
©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree #6

 
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The Journey – Monday – Day 14, 2019…

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The Ticking Clock…

A weathervane stilled under a glowing moon bares to the moon its raven wings, in predicted circles it swings. Fishing boats rise and fall behind the jetty wall, the old man mending his netting can hear the sea call.

Ghostly snowflakes cover the seaweed floating among the rocks, the fisherman’s mind rushes like the tick of a clock. Time for one more catch before winter freezes the shore; the nets have taken too long, an overwhelming chore.

He sits remembering his world, its ghosts that the ocean has taken, the young men that God had forsaken. In the beginning the ancient winds brought the fish to earth, they filled the sea to give birth.

Our ancestor’s footsteps imprinted upon the pier, late in the night their sorrowful cries we can hear. Hurry, hurry the time is growing near, soon your boats will freeze in their moorings, the winter winds are what you should fear.

Look upward at the weathervane and its circular world, around and around it whirls. The daybreak will quickly be gone and you will ask God…where did I go wrong. Ghostly snowflakes cover the seaweed floating among the rocks, the fisherman mind rushes like the tick of a clock.

 
©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 
AUTHOR’S NOTE: We cannot think about the “seasons” without bringing Mother Earth into the fold. She has served us well, beware she made not be here forever, be good to her.

 
AUTHORS BOOK AT AMAZON.COM
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The Journey – Saturday – Day 12, 2019…

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Being sick during the Holidays is no fun, my children did not seem to mind the delayed Holidays, January; in all actuality they were quiet delighted, it would be one less relative to visit making it less stressful. If you had asked me the question, “Let’s move Christmas into January”, I would have said no. Since it was I, that was sick, I was going to miss the Holidays anyway.

I had for months in 2018 trying to reinvent myself, reading the books on various  religions. I began with present day Christianity, those who “sermonize” from the Bible in most cases picked and chose the “parts” from the Bible that they want to use to put fear into followers, and it worked.

Christianity is  first ranked in the list of most popular religions around the globe with more than 2.1 billion followers , the highest ranked are the Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant. Islam is given the second rank in the list of major religions of the world having more than 1.5 billion followers; it is one of the fastest growing religions. Hinduism in one of the major religions of the world with 900 million worshipers, it is considered one of the world’s oldest religions. Buddhism is also considered a leading religion around the globe with more than 376 million followers; Gautama Siddhartha founded it 2500 years before in India. Sikhism is the world’s fifth largest religion having more than 23 million worshippers; this religion combined the beliefs from Islam and Hinduism.

What does all of this have to do with the Holidays and me being sick? What does it have to do with “missing” Christmas? What does it have to do with the reinvention of Elizabeth Ann Murphree?

It was the best way to lay a foundation for the change that I am trying to put into practice within myself. Do I believe in God, yes? Do I believe every word written in the Bible, no, why? Men and their perception of the events of their day and time wrote it. One must pull away the layers of the stories much like pealing an onion, and then you may find the written truth within the book. There are, I find some reasonable truths in all religions, I sway toward that of Christianity fed the need of my living a life of “goodness” and Buddhism, gives me additional guidelines to grow, and if we are to believe in God, then we must believe in all of the religions he has created through the man and women of this world.

I have read many books throughout 2018. I believe the practice that I need in my life at this time is “mindfulness”, if I can master that one, I will have a better understanding of life and I will see growth in myself and be aware of it in others. I try every day to be mindful of the difficulties that lay ahead of me. I try to actively be attentive, keeping the complexities of my life in mind.

Mindfulness an ancient Buddhist practice that has profound exposure in my present-day life.  In truth, it has nothing to do with Buddhism, but it does have everything to do with living in harmony with myself and with the world around me. I have examined who I am and I have educated myself with the practice and now have an appreciation for each moment that I am alive. It also helped to survive the many health issues I have had these past three years.  Do I fall away from mindfulness, of course, but the teaching of mindfulness quickly brings me back in line to what my life needs.  It prepares me for the next part of my life, as the journey grows shorter.

This practice is not an easy one. One has to be continually mindful about the present moment and not be judgmental in what is going on around you and the world in general. One must be aware of the greater reality. I believe with this concept I can continue to grow, we as world inhabitants can continue to grow if we are aware of the happenings within our own realm and that of others.  Have I mastered this concept, no, I must be constantly aware of what is truth and what is gossip within my realm.  I have more work to do, but isn’t that growth.

 

 

©2019elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

The Journey – Thursday – Day 10, 2019

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ Leave a comment

We are day ten into the New Year, I try to recall the past and what have I done, what have I accomplished during these many years. My childhood, I more often than not I raised myself, along with those wonderful women my great-great-grandmother whom I call “Ma” a solid rock of full-blooded Native American ancestry and “Aunt Francis” a black woman of wisdom. I raised five children alone . Along the way, I worked in the public sector for forty years. During retirement, I begin searching for who I was, and what I wanted out of the second half of my life.

I returned to painting and writing. I have written and published nine books of poetry.  I had a daughter who passed in 2010; I published her story, I also published a photo journey of my special companion Mason, my four-legged child, in pictures. I published a book of my own paintings. I have tried to reinvent myself during these past twenty years and I am still working on myself as I continue to travel down a mysterious path on my journeys into yesterday, tomorrow and that final day. What have I learned?

I believe that the journey we humans lead down one of three paths. The first path leads to success, these are the people that have material riches and yes, sorrow. Then there is the second path, one that leads to happiness and sorrow, yet, these people live a good life. They are capable of handling life. The third path is one of total destruction. The important question now is how you and I are going to live our lives, which path will we take.

When you find yourself at the crossroads of the here and now, will you put in the effort to be free, will you walk through the doors of reality, choosing the path wisely. I believe in meditation, it is simply about being yourself, finding yourself, your life is always unfolding in front of you, seeking the answer to truth. If you are not careful truth will be ignored, be fallow and unacknowledged.

Life is at times like a slippery slope, the grave will hold all of those years of  life-unexamined half-truths, fears, you did not achieve that which was given to you on the path of your life, and you ignored the wealth, happiness and greatness. If you wake up and breakout, your life unfolds on a path of success. Get off that slippery slope and follow your path to importance. No one can do this job but you. At the end of a long life, dedicated mindfulness will be acknowledged and you will be remembered as an individual of understanding and wisdom.

 

 

©2019elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

I am Woman…

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ 6 Comments

I am Woman…

So, I am Woman, the wind whips through down the ridges of my throat, graveling pain spills out of my voice, I listen to the wind, it turns toward the sea, I said again, I am Woman.

I hear no echoes from the waves, the words are swallowed up in the voice of the surf as it swells and leaps over the bleached sands. I call to it, I am Woman.

Like sea mist across the dunes, I sway and beg the wind to take me away; words fall silent upon the shore, as I went out in the night to return no more, my choice, I am Woman.

 

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 
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Mother Earth…

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ Leave a comment

 

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Acrylic Painting by Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree

 

Mother Earth…

The sun falls in every nook and cranny, the birds sing a beautiful song against the morning light. The crow lands inside a blue Spruce, boughs sway underneath the tiny feet, the bobbing holds the interest of a squirrel. Walking while the imagination falls into motion, a leaf lands at my feet, I look up and the clouds come alive, breaking over and under, profound, alive, forming cats, horses, elephants and Jesus. Everything is alive here upon Mother Earth and in the Heavens, we tend, we produce and make room for those who will come. It is then that our pain will ease, our cries quell and we will be delivered into peace.

 
©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 
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On Writing…

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Sunday, November 11, I wrote about being mindful. My son Chuck is always using and discussing the word mindful, therefore, it is always to my forefront in my thoughts. Today, I thought I would discuss a little about writing, my writing. A favorite writer of mine Anne Lamott says,” No one cares if you continue to write, so you’d better care, because otherwise you are doomed”.

I was a closet writer, literally, my desk and computer was in a small closet I opened the door pulled out the chair, and there I was in what I thought to be my writing space. I wrote short stories. Once I had finished a story or what I thought was a finished story, I neatly filed it away in a file box on the shelf above me. Oh, I had been writing for years, since the age of five to be exact. The job of eliminating me of such a frivolous waste of time fell upon my mother. Every time she would find my big chief writing tablet and fat pencil, she threw it in the burning barrel. When we would go to see my Aunt Vina, she would send me home with a new supply, Aunt Vina encouraged my imagination. When I would stay with her during summers, I was to have a new story to read each day when she came home from work.

My love of reading through the years introduced me to all manner of authors and styles. Again, Aunt Vina encouraged my reading and writing. If it were not for her, I would not enjoy my retirement years, and then I began to dabble into the art of poetry. I spoke with my son Chuck who is a writer, explaining that I seem to have the ability to write poetry and I loved it. He expressed his belief that maybe this was the direction that I should go. Several published poetry books later I believe that all of my experiences in life found their way upon the blank page in the form of poetry had been depleted.

My next adventure was a book containing all of my artwork. When that book was completed and published, I begin the life story of my daughter Charlotte who passed away in 2010. When the grief began to spill over into my daily life where I could no longer control my emotions, I wrote. There were times when I thought that I may never write again, I thought of words but none would meld together to create any serious writing. Then, the book about Charlottes’ life was published. I still believed that my poetry and the well-house from where I gathered words might have dried up. It was then that I published a book of images of my four-legged friend Mason, finally I returned to my favorite writer Anne Lamott who said,” No one cares if you continue to write, so you’d better care, because otherwise you are doomed”.

After a few weeks of idleness, I outlined a family saga. A working title, Generations of heroes and assholes, their secrets and lies. I believe this undertaking of possibly a series of five books or one huge book will fill several years, which along with my blog and family should keep me busy. Along with that, a part of my day will be set aside for painting, reading books, researching, and enjoying the post of my favorite people, those who visit my blog.
Good Writing to All

 

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 

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Mindful…

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ 2 Comments

I have tried to go back over my past, most reflected upon childhood, emotional wounds, the scars that you cannot see; yet the pain is there sometimes quiet and other times excruciating. The teenage years found me defective and with no value, not without my trying. I made excellent grades, but not allowed to join any afterschool activities, my mother thought I should be at home cooking and cleaning for the rest of the day. In the sixth grade, she did allow me to join a concert band that would continue through high school, concert and marching band. The reason, my mother was friends with the band directors’ wife… the only reason. This was my life as a teenager, I could go to all of the football games and it allowed me to attend music camps as well. This did not save me! I grew with no treasured possessions mental or physicals. Nonetheless, that was then and this is now.

Today they are so many who are broken down and frightened, yet as humans we are always searching for happiness. We mostly accept our lives young or old; we can pray that our lives have turned out as God planned, if you believe in God. I sometimes wish I were a child again before understanding grew within my brain, birth. Many of us live our entire lives for others, literally. When needed I plug myself into work?

Hate is a terrible emotion, this is the most awful thing and I try to surround myself put up a wall where hate cannot reach me. It does not work for me. The hate and malignant thoughts of others penetrate the wall, the thin skin and embeds itself deep within my soul. I cannot forget the hate that I have suffered at the hands of others. However, I cannot change them, so I pray for them. The willingness to change their behavior is ignored. As humans, we need the courage to accept them for what they are; the goal is to bring manic dramas into our lives. The fingerprints of hate has been embedded upon my psyche since childhood, I try not to respond to it, they want you to feel the pain at all cost we must try to fight it be aware, be mindful for these are struggling souls, they are precious. God is my defense.

When all this occurs, we must create a new vision for ourselves, lift our eyes and hands to the heavens and do the best we can.

 

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

*A collection of thoughts for a new book

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Everyone has a past and everyone has memories. I am currently working on a project of a series of five books, a biography of the lives of myself and of those that are relatives. This post and others will consist of my thoughts on many subjects. My poetry will have to sit on the back burner so to speak, as this is an undertaking that will span a year or more.


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The Parsimonious Me Returns and Other Thoughts

~ elizabethannjohnsonmurphree ~ 2 Comments

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(A collection of thoughts for a writing project)

The unpleasant events of an old woman living in modern day times can be fearful. Everything around the world is being destroyed by fire, smoldering lava of a volcano, buildings are imploding and exploding by the work of foreign or homegrown terrorist. Tsunami’s wipe out shorelines and far inland, earthquakes swallows everything in the path of its deadly fingers opening the earth. Global warming is real, our weather and the results of it leave broad paths of destruction to prove it.

If we compare our inward selves to the unpleasant events of the times within the family, friends and acquaintances, our deep secrets and the truth of the spirit and soul are no doubt warring. Yes, the outward looks and smiles get you through those needed moments, all the while the turmoil is griping you inward with you pushing it to the edge of doom and no return. Of course, what does this have to do with aging; I am certain all ages go through the insecure components of their sense

Yet, all the time we are aging, in those winter years it becomes scary, there is so much to do with less time to do it. Time will not stand still. The family “rock” must be strong, able to withstand anything. I have lead life as best I could. Outside the family, I had role models, my Aunt, a teacher, and when I became an adult, I had work mentors.

I live with depression, anxiety, all of my life and with thoughts of suicide, and during those married years, I thought of it more often; but I had too many responsibilities as an adult to act upon my thoughts. All of these debilitating feelings started in childhood. When I was not in school, I was at home alone to roam the woods surrounding our home. We had no phones, and my mother told me how to act, to live, what to say…be seen and not heard, she was not a woman who beat children. She was a woman that tore her children down mentally, telling me I should be grateful to be living and have a mother. Well that statement and its answer, is far too long to place in this post, it will have to be covered as a topic all its own.

 

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 

*A collection of thoughts for a new book

 

Other books on sale at Amazon.com

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Everyone has a past and everyone has memories. I am currently working on a project of a series of five books, a biography of the lives of myself and of those that are relatives. This post and others will consist of my thoughts on many subjects. My poetry will have to sit on the back burner so to speak, as this is an undertaking that will span a year or more.

AUTHORS BOOK AT AMAZON.COM
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_8?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=ann+johnsonmurphree&sprefix=ann+john%2Caps%2C221&crid=RM5ALVGUNEEB